Welcome, Beaver Cream enthusiasts! We can't tell you how delighted we are to meet aficionados of Beaver Cream. If you're anything like we are, you are more-or-less human, live on planet Earth and eat something throughout the day. We have so much in common already! We're like practically cousins. Can we call you kinfolk?
You also might be curious, before laying down a big wad of cash, just exactly what kind of greeting cards Beaver Cream makes, besides funny ones, I mean. Oh, and by the way, the website watermark on our images will NOT be on your final product.
Non-technical information about Beaver Cream in general
In general, our research team of scientists, hillbillies, and barbers have discovered that Beaver Cream is good for you. We pump out as much Beaver Cream material as we can throughout the day, and will be adding new Beaver Cream greeting cards each week. If you're one of the first to stumble, bleary-eyed and cash-rich, onto our website, you might find only a few cards in each section. After you buy each and every one of them, please come back in a few weeks and buy the new ones as well. We will not be sorry you did!
Order! Order in the court!
If you're anything like us, you enjoy buying really cool things. Don't shoot us, but there's a limit to the quantity of cards you can purchase. We've set a tentative max on each card at 25. While we can do many things, we can't predict the future worth beans. We still have Enron stock, if you need any. So until we have a little more Beaver Cream under our belts, we're going to limit the maximum number of each card you can purchase. If you have large orders, feel free to drop us a line before ordering, and we'll make sure we wave our hand frantically through the air, pace quickly through the office, and grunt loudly to help fulfill your massive Beaver Cream order.
Technical information on your Beaver Cream greeting cards
First off, all our greeting cards are printed on premium Museo Artist cards made from 100% cotton, acid-free, velina/smooth finish, internally buffered, no fluorescent whiteners added. Crane Museo Artist Cards are manufactured to the same high standards and archival characteristics as the existing range of Museo papers. 220gsm - 0.014in thickness. The paper is beautiful, long lasting and feels really good in your hands. Plus, your eyes will thank you for giving them something this special to look at.
Our cards literally scream "We are the &$%@ best! Forget the rest! Let me touch your chest." And then they start hollering about making sweet love to them. While we haven't sampled the cards that way, we do recommend framing them and living forever in their overwhelming beauty. Basically, you can treasure your Beaver Cream greetings cards for, like, forever!
We print our beautiful cards using gallery-quality UltraChrome K3 ink, on our 7 color Epson Stylus R3000. Why not print them on standard four color press, you might ask (but probably not). Glad I/you asked. Because you get "standard" color on a standard four-color press. That just won't cut it! Our artist is nuts about color and quality, and so we error on producing gorgeous full color greeting cards on premium archival art stock using 7 colors instead of 4 -- for people who like quality, you'll love Beaver Cream.
In our research, we also discovered that most folks do NOT soak their greeting cards in bleach, run over them with a wheelbarrow full of pig slop, or spit on them before giving their greeting card to their loved ones. So, you know, if you spill your drink on these archival-art-quality greeting cards, you'll need to buy another one. They're beautiful, but not indestructible.
Where did Beaver Cream come from?
Beaver Cream is a brain-child (soon to be a birthday card) hatched from the creative minds of The Burroughs Group, a Design/3D illustration/animation company located in the heart of Idaho. (Yes, the place where potatoes come from). Since we we're not busy enough with creating websites, print-based marketing material, (more info on our websites: www.tbg-designs.com) technical 3D illustrations and stunning architectural renderings (www.commercial3d.com), we thought we'd launch a greeting card company that catered to folks who might share our twisted since of humor. Life is good. Celebrate with Beaver Cream - you won't be sorry you did.